Cambridge dictionary defines personality as a combination of qualities in a person which makes that person different from all the others, often a function of how a person behaves, thinks, and feels.

People close to me describe me as someone who is happy go lucky. Someone who doesn’t take too much stress, has high confidence, and who thinks big. Often times also extremely adamant and fixed on certain behaviours, and a creature of habit.

When I sit down to look at myself, there are many parts of my being that I find are unique. For instance, I’m big on taking risks without giving much thought about the (negative) outcomes. I’m someone who at times has a hard time saying ‘No’ to things (something I’ve consciously worked on in the last few years and have seen improve as a character trait (or flaw.)

But personality as I’ve seen over the years hasn’t been a fixed set of affairs for me. They’ve changed, evolved, deleted, replaced altogether as I’ve come across new ideas, new people, and new desires. The idea of neural plasticity, and consistent practice allows you to navigate your so-called character flaws and design your ideal self.

Folks who know me back when I was a 12 year old kid still perceive me as I was back in the day because that’s the only memory they have of me. Folks I meet now have no prior conditioning, and see me for who I am today. Different people also have different takeaways from your personality based on in what mood they catch you.

For me, there is no fixed personality. If it’s true that we’re a sum total of all of our experiences, environment, and exposures all put together, then a large part of our personality is also a function of these external cues.

While your environment has a big factor to play in the way you’re perceiving reality, and creating your personality through conscious or sub-conscious thoughts, desires, and actions; it is also true undeniably that some elements of who you are stay with you forever.

In my case, I’m someone who enjoys luxury, and am not going to hold back splurging for my comfort at the expense of f***ing my monthly pnl! I will also not compromise on my diet – No matter which part of the world I live in, I am almost habitual to find and eat (north) Indian food.

I am also someone who cares deeply about making sure the people around me like me. Sometimes I end up going lengths to please them even at my own expense. While my people pleasing habits have since changed as I’ve consciously decided who I spend time with, every now and then they show up and I end up doing things which I don’t want to (and have a hard time saying ‘No’ to.)

As I look back at my life at 37, my single biggest takeaway grappling with the idea of ‘what’s my personality’ is just this – everyday your actions are defining your personality. The only question is – whether you’re being conscious or compulsive about your response.

Each day I try to live by some ideas that I find inspiring, that perhaps will one day allow me to achieve and live the life of my dreams.

Here’s to trying again being a better version, and a new personality that I hold in high regard.

ciao

Ro